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Mr. Smith wrote to me via my Facebook Page, in his dying state, (he was suicidal); looked at himself as worthless, a no good, and one who has failed woefully in all ramifications of . I asked him why? He said the lady he's been dating for a long while, and who he'd planned to marry just jilted him. She walked away with another man. Why I asked? Mr. Smith stated because he doesn't have enough money as the other man; being a clerk with meagerly salary. He'd tried all he could to get a better job with his undergraduate degree but all to no avail; Also the future is not looking as colorful as he'd painted in his mind because of his inability to secure a good job.
Apparently this other man his ex-fiancée walked away with was taking her to the United Kingdom to live with him, and since Mr. Smith didn't  have that kind of money to do that at that particular stage of his life, He condemned himself to be worthless, less of a man, and not being able to measure up to the lady's 'standard' or give her all she desired.
I sat this young man down with little or almost zeroed out 'hope', and started counseling him. First of, the lady in question is NOT your wife and you should be thankful God delivered you from her, I told him. Character is who you are under . Your real character is your personality, which oozes out like a perfume unexpectedly out of the bottle, especially under pressure. So I told Mr. Smith the lady has an insatiable soul, and will always move from place to place when the chips are down or when the account is in red. She will always be unstable in everything if all that sustains her is money, good things, and the so called 'colorful life.' Everyone who'd lived long enough know that: "Life is not about waiting for the storm to pass, but learning  to dance in the rain." It will always rain good and bad, but we can't fold our hands or give up just because the season we are in is unfavorable, or else one will end up in penury or die immaturely.
From the foundation and creation of humanity, A wife has been labelled a "help-meet". Meaning one who helps in meeting your needs when most needed. Not one that pulls you down, and turns her back on you when you needed it most. This I said to help him understand the meaning of a wife.
Secondly, I told Mr. Smith he isn't worthless neither is he a no good. He's just waiting for his time to shine so he could exhibit the gifts that is already inside of him. I believe every man or woman is gifted, and no one should be relegated just because it isn't their turn to shine. I asked him to tell me what he loves to do when not even being paid to do so? I said that because, great inventors started with a talent that didn't look like something great at first, but ended up taking over the world. For examples, Bill Gates (Microsoft), (Facebook), etc.
So I gave him that homework; also told him to envision where he sees himself in five years with that talent or gift?
Later on, I asked Mr. Smith for his Curriculum Vitae (CV) or Résumé, so I could review it and make sure it is professional enough for what we are trying to achieve.
Thirdly I told Mr. Smith to work on himself; boost his self esteem and start seeing himself the way God sees him. The idea is to change is interior to match his outer appearance. The truth is you appear as you see yourself on the inside. So it's imperative one esteem oneself  highly, not in a cocky or condescending manner, but in sheer confidence.
Reviewed Mr. Smith's Curriculum Vitae (CV), and knew right away I had to make some vital changes on it. So I worked tirelessly on it, and presented it to him after couple of days. He was happy and went to start applying for jobs.
He applied and got a great job with a great company in Abuja, Nigeria, from his place of residence in Lagos State, Nigeria. All moving expenses to Abuja was paid for by the company, which was a great plus from his background. Before he moved to Abuja, he came to me and we thanked God for this great opportunity.
The next call I heard from Mr. Smith after he'd moved to Abuja was he was getting married. I was ecstatic for him. A well paying job, with a great wife on the way? This is a man who went from being suicidal, to experiencing unexplainable joy; this must be God all the way. I spoke to the lady before they walked down the aisle and indeed she is the bone carved out of him. A union God himself commissioned before the foundation of the earth. After a year their son was born. I was and still really happy for both of them.
Mr. Smith and I became close family friends and we still communicate as of date. We talk, share testimonies, and all the good stuff, together. The last testimony he shared with me was his talent or gifts he was working on which has now come to fruition in exactly five years later. Mr Smith's gift has opened up a great business idea that has kicked off in the same state he moved to, Abuja. He is now a prominent business owner in Abuja Nigeria. His life has blossomed in the course of 5years and he is doing extremely well.
"Life is in stages, men are in sizes." Never ever let pressure lure you to act outside of your timing. Time is essential but knowing the right timing is extremely important. Do not allow a woman or a man, cut your lifespan short.
Men, be careful. Not all women are wives. The bible did NOT say: "He who finds a woman..."; It says: "He who finds a wife, finds a good thing; and obtains favor of The Lord." (Proverbs 18:22).
Also the bible referred to Adam and Eve as, 'Adam and his wife.' (Genesis 2:24,25; 3:8, 17, 21, 4:1,25). So look for a wife in every woman before walking down the aisle with her.
The moral of the story is to always know the right timing for one's life. Time equals life. If Mr. Smith hadn't met me at the right time, he would have been dead and all his life achievement would never have emerged. The adage that says, "The cemetery is the most wealthy place, because most talents and gifts where buried before its full maturity", -- is so true.
Some people have lost their lives in the process of running ahead of their time. Not talking about those who died due to one ailment, internal disease, or the other, or those who'd lost their lives through natural disaster like water, fire, etcetera, but those who because of having quick or fast money have cut their destiny(ies) short.
Life equals life. The more you invest in your time, the more quality you get out of life. To know your timing, you must put God first in all your decision making, and he will direct and lighten your path. He will lead you to the right people at the right time to lead you out of obscurity into your destined glory. Wait for your time. God is never too late, but He is always on time. Shalom!
(P.S: Real name withheld for personal reasons.)
Debbie Kuks.
© 2014 Debbie Kuks Words
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