The Pains, The Groans, My Relationship….

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Looking the window every morning was not an easy task for me. I enjoyed it anyways.. Never tired of it for once, ever since I noticed this lovely couple living opposite my crib. Haven't seen unmarried couple crazy into each other so much that they dramatize their outside the house, bombading themselves with unexplanable romantic kisses and touches.. Only true lovers could do that if I 'm right.. I perceived her smiles to be that of someone who couldnt bear the absence of her lover for long but was helpless in such a situation. The dude has to go to work and make some bar. Perhaps she does the spending when the money rolls in. The sight of their expressive love act everyday boiled up pound of tears and bitterness in me. I wished I had an interesting relationship as theirs but No!!! far from it. It's so saddening. Frank no longer use to be my baby, he has stopped being human, responsible and romantic. He is now a terrible sight to behold as far as I am concerned. Well!!! at the beginning of our love journey maybe he was human. Tall, dark, and handsome were what I looked out for in a guy. The feeling of being with an ugly dude to me limits my prestige and esteem.. Lucky me, Frank had it all and I was always anxious of showing him off to my besties and whoever cared to know who I was dating. Five years ago when I decided to be his girlfriend, I felt I was the most fortunate girl to have fallen into the hands of such a guy.. But right now, i feel the opposite. He is a changed man now. Seeing my neighbours love themselves the way they do made me crave for a better relationship. As jobless as I was, I would leave anything I was doing just to catch a glimpse of my neighbours' love drama. She aint looking bad even though I was prettier and sexier than her as I said to console myself. Having her as a friend was not a bad idea.. I thought as I smiled. Just as the babe kissed her man a good day, the thought of haven't heard from frank for a while sightly crossed my mind and spoilt my mood. Although I had stopped bothering myself about pleasing him because even when he is around, it's like hell on earth. He yells at every little statement I make, on many occassions he had threatened to hit me. He complains about everything I did, nothing I did was good enough. Before making his meal, I think twice because he might not come home and even when he does, he might not eat. Anytime I complained of him keeping late, I sleep in ache with my face badly swollen. It's worse when we have a quarrel or disagreement. The aftermath of our fight sometimes is something I' m not proud of. out of frustration,I sit to think if i was always at fault but i couldnt fish out any. i was loyal, homely, submissive to him. His love for me just went sour for no reason. Maybe moving into his house initially was a foolish idea. I made the choice out of ignorance. Perhaps, I did it to keep him. I wanted to be aware of everything that happened to him. I didnt want to be far from him. I loved him and couldnt stand him being with another woman, so I moved in. Now I discovered somethings won't just work in keeping a man such as sex, moving into his apartment, being protective or insecured. He would stay if he wants to. I blamed myself for loving Frank that much. I could risk my life for him. That was how bad I was in love with him. Of course, I had other correct guys who took interest in me but all for the sake of frank, I disposed them. He got to know about few of them and didnt talk about it since I was not seeing them. I got tired and totally hopeless of my relationship with frank so I took our relationship to God and always prayed for him. Sometimes, I wonder if God was listening to my plea over my so called fiance. My story is a long one....I will conclude it on Saturday. Deborah Adejare   Note: Images are for illustration purposes and doesn't depict actual person.  

11 Comments

  1. Shobande Keymon Yomi

    March 18, 2015 at 7:31 am

    What a Story, thanks to Deborah

  2. Grace Aigbokhae

    March 18, 2015 at 7:34 am

    I will say keep praying Deborah he is always there to hear just believe. For the fact you park in with frank without him getting married to you is a very bad idea, like you say sex won’t keep him. just believe it will get better.

  3. Chiamaka Emmanuella Onuoha

    March 18, 2015 at 7:42 am

    All for love, love is very stupid wen u love d wrong guy but sweet with the right guy. Next time pls shine ur eyes. Beware of fake luv

  4. Chiamaka Emmanuella Onuoha

    March 18, 2015 at 7:47 am

    Packing in with him is very bad because he will loose interest in u and ur pride and diginity has been sold out cheaply. Dear Deborah pray to God for a good man God will surely answer u.

  5. Eunice Aigbokhae

    March 18, 2015 at 7:55 am

    It is well OK just pray and it will be over

  6. Ndubuisi Oscar

    March 18, 2015 at 10:28 am

    Heii! What a pathetic story. This is the most mistake girls of nowadays do; having sex to secure him or leaving in his house to monitor his move. Mtcheww But they
    have forgotten that the man even if he loves you, may loose interest in you because you have sold you dignity and pride and he has seen what you got both inside and outside. Then when he dump you for another girl you will say he is bad.

  7. Tyra bello

    March 18, 2015 at 3:05 pm

    Are you guys married? If no, then the better for you. Instead of being that jobless to watch those romantic people, find yourself a job and get busy. Make the guy know you aren’t wholly depending on him. And a guy hitting you? Shouldn’t that give you a cue? Until the devil finally use him to end your life? Maybe the guy feels you can’t cope without so its time to take that walk but if you feel you still wanna stay, make yourself wanted, work and yourself and pray! Abi

  8. Anonymous

    March 18, 2015 at 10:35 pm

    hi,first pick ur things ad leave his house, than get a job, ad get busy than u wll real no ur worth as a woman,u ar nt marry so wht do expect u ar more like a housemaid ad bedwarmer fr him, ad whn a guy start hitn a woman b4 marriage, let d@ woman becareful, broken relationship is better than broken marriage, make urself a valuable asset, ad free urself, u ar nt protect d relationship, u only keep urself in a bondage, so girl free urself ad b alive, God is in control

  9. Rasak Adenike

    March 18, 2015 at 10:37 pm

    hi,first pick ur things ad leave his house, than get a job, ad get busy than u wll real no ur worth as a woman,u ar nt marry so wht do expect u ar more like a housemaid ad bedwarmer fr him, ad whn a guy start hitn a woman b4 marriage, let d@ woman becareful, broken relationship is better than broken marriage, make urself a valuable asset, ad free urself, u ar nt protect d relationship, u only keep urself in a bondage, so girl free urself ad b alive, God is in control

  10. Louis Offor

    March 18, 2015 at 11:09 pm

    What do you want me to advice? It seems you already know where the source of your problem lies. You already have a clue…and that’s a good thing if you ask me. Well…i won’t really feel sorry for you. You know why? Maybe the ugly dude that you once ignored and paid no interest to due to your self prestige and over estimated esteem would have paid off better in the long run. I’m pretty sure all these Pains and groans would have been non-existent in your relationship. It just goes to show that not all that glitters is indeed gold. Just bear it as your cross or take the shortest cut…an exit pathway. This is definitely one lesson in life that you’ll grab! Kpele…!

  11. Sandra Chinasa Deborah

    March 19, 2015 at 12:28 am

    This is wats killing we girls. We re bn too fastidious wen choosing whom we call boyfrnd nt even husband such as lookin 4 a tall man with pink lips, hairy body, sexy body structure n stuffs like dat. Wen we eventually gotten one, it feels like we re on top of d moon without knwin dat all dat glitters is nt gold. Nobdy is above mistake n 4 dis singular reason, i say thank u Deborah cos i hv learnt sumthg great 4rm dis story specially where girls try 2 keep their men with sex, moving in 2 his apartment, tryin 2 knw everything he does in d name of being insecure etc. Its true dat love can make one do strange thgs including backing off wen u discover dat d person in question doesn’t reciprocate it. dats all i hv got 2 offer as an advice. Waiting 2 read d full story.