So I was talking to a good friend of mine who is not married and wishes to, but unsure of the dynamics of relationships; meaning he doesn't know how long a cordial relationship must last for before it blossoms into courtship, and then marriage? What is the set time frame before proposing, How long should courtships last for, etc? I asked him, who ever set the time, rules, laws, and regulations of courtship?
I recall a sweet couple's story I'd read, and this beautiful couple, although very young, knew what they wanted from their relationship way early in their lives. They were both 19yr olds, but knew they didn't want to fornicate, or have sexual intercourse outside of marriage
, but marry according to God's principle of marriage. The couple made their intention known, but their church family were the first to shut the idea down, and kicked it to the curb, saying they were too young. This lovely couple tried everything to convince their church family that they truly wanted to be married, but all fell into deaf ears. They later left the church and joined another supporting church which helped them achieve their goal of marriage. Now they are happily married and both so in love
with each other.
There is no set time, months, years, or age that is in any law, or even the bible on marriages, that sets the rules for marriage. Marriage is for the matured at heart. If
your heart is not prepared for a lifetime commitment, then do not venture into marriage. Maturity doesn't have anything to do with age. I have seen people get married in their late 30's and gotten divorced 5years down the line, and seen 17 and 19yr olds get married and stayed married 44years later.
Marriage is a matter of the heart and not about age and what others presume it to be. Older people sometimes feel they know it all. The last time I checked, God is Omniscient, the All Knowing God! God knows it all not you! God originated marriage. No one knew how old the first man, Adam, was when God carved Eve out of him? I strongly believe if you're in God, and He is your guide in all you do, if He is leading you to get married, then just do it!
The only thing I feel everyone should be worried about is if the man is a hard worker, and one that isn't lazy. If a man cannot provide for his family, the bible says he is worse than an infidel. Therefore let us not allow our judgment, as a church family, the elder community of grown-ups, or any other unsanctioned committee, stop anyone from getting married based on age, or time frame set by a body of human beings and not God, or body of church principles. I have seen couples attend the church counseling for the 3months allocated, and still fell apart in the first few years of marriage. Therefore, a successful marriage is not based on all these mundane things enacted by the human bodies.
A successful marriage is based on God, the founder of marriage, the man submitting to God, and woman submitting to her husband. Period! God is love therefore if God is the foundation of any marriage, love can never cease from it, peace, joy and tranquility can never cease either. Anything God gets involve in always end in His perfect will, and bears all the goodness that comes from Him.
Lastly, "Don’t let anyone think less of you or despise you because you are young. Be an example to all believers in what you say, in the way you live, in your love, your faith, and your purity." (1Timothy 4:12). Be an example in what you say, the way you live, in your love, faith, and purity. Marriage is a prime example of this statement, versus fornicating and living in full blown sin because you feel you're too young, and God will always forgive your innocence. Remember, it is sin to know what you ought to do and then not do it. (James 4:17).
Let these words detach, and break you from any sexual relationship that is not within the four walls of marriage! Shalom~
© 2014 Debbie Kuks Words
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