Karma of Relationships…

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My mother tells me that a ‘clear conscience’ is a ‘victorious life assured’ and it doesn’t matter how much ‘ill wishes’ that come your way. Our being ‘social animals’ makes it nearly impossible for toes not to be stepped on-knowingly or unknowingly but deliberately setting out to hurt another is something that life doesn’t forgive and it does not matter if the one you hurt has let go. You get paid in your own coin-somehow.

He was in my relative’s past. Whatever they had must have been long ago but he came calling recently. Being her amiable self-she granted him audience as he went on his knees, apologising for what he claimed his offences against her were, also claimed that life has been rather unkind to him in a lot of ways and he was convinced his redemption would have to come from his seeking the forgiveness of those he must have offended in the past. My relative was rather confused because she can’t even remember what the said offences against her were. She only recalled that whatever they had back then didn’t work out and everybody went his/her way. I came away with a vital lesson from that incident…it is not until whoever you have hurt has done some swearing or cursing that karma comes calling. Once you hurt another deliberately, karma owes you a visit. Let’s always remember this, as some of us go about perpetuating all manner of meanness in relationships.

Some attitudes border on sheer meanness. Is it that people behave recklessly because they believe their path may not cross (again) with that of those they have hurt? Unfortunately…karma knows where and when to come calling.

Let’s get one thing straight…it is unrealistic to believe that someone who has had a relationship with you must marry you. However, the manner in which people ‘disengage’-when the centre can no longer hold, matters a lot and you absolutely do not have to be mean about it. Rather than lead another on in a deceitful manner…hurt him/her with the truth.

You must not marry the woman you put in the family way but it is most mean to turn your back on her and the baby. Stand by her as she nurses the baby, play your role in the child’s life…even as you move on with your life.

If you have started making marriage plans with someone else, it is mean to keep leading another on and giving him/her false hope. Have a clean break from him/her-so that you can face your new life.

It’s okay to seek assistance from someone that you consider intimate enough but it is mean to receive such ‘assistance’ on false pretence. If marrying him/her is far from your mind…then leave his/her money alone…except you have made it clear that the ‘assistance’ does not guarantee marriage.

Sometimes, a troubled life goes beyond what you are doing wrong in that current setting that you find yourself in. Certain issues can be traced to misdeeds of the past but most importantly…the manner in which such misdeeds were committed. I tell whoever that cares to listen that marriage or living a new life is not what you go into by littering your path with heartbreaks and accumulating ‘negative vibes’. As much as you can, endeavour to have a clean break from any given setting in which you find yourself-before moving on to the next chapter. If it means hurting a loved one with the truth, eating the humble pie…please do. It’s a different case; if he/she chooses to be unreasonable-after you have come clean!