I saw the end of my marriage even before I knew it was going to end

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I saw the end of my even before I knew it was going to end. I saw it the day my ex and I visited his folks and one of his uncles said...... "Funke, shey you know say as u neva born boy for us, your leg neva strong for here o. These way you get no join. Na boy matter to us"
I was livid. I saw red. Who no join? My kids? *smh* What made me really mad was not what the man said. He was a nonentity. He didn't matter. What made me crazy was the fact that my ex laughed and told him..... "Yes o. I've told her. The next one must be a boy. Compulsory." And he wasn't joking. What made me double mad was that his sister who I considered a friend also piped in..... "She knows the next one has to be a boy. My brother must have a son." I was so pissed. What next one? There was not going to be a next anything. And I just knew that union had run it's course. There has been subtle talk and silly remarks before then but to talk and denigrate my kids in my presence and expect me to laugh about it with you like it was a huge joke, you must be smoking something strong. When a man complains that his wife didn't give him a son, two things come to my mind. 1. The dude is an illiterate 2. Even if he isn't one, it is certain he failed Biology woefully. When the whole thing was gradually falling apart and my ex sis in law asked me to come for a reconciliation meeting. I went there and decided to vent. After venting, this lady told me.... "That's the problem with all you these Lagos girls. You have no patience. All these feminist thing you are doing won't pay you o. Better hold on to your husband". I told her to eat her brother up. I really don't blame her. It was her brother. She had to pick sides. She obviously picked his. I don't blame her but I don't understand it. That's why I'll always say the worst person you can go to for if your marriage is shaky is your mummy G.O or Pastor mummy Mrs. Women give shitty advice. Arrrrghhhhh! Even with random females, I've never understood the rationale behind a woman not having another woman's back especially when wrong has been done to that woman by a man. I simply don't understand it. A woman is angry and needs to rant to get it out of her system and another woman is telling her...... "Shhhh.....don't shout so much before they'll call you an angry feminist". How about don't call me anything? How about just let me do what I need to do to get over whatever hurt I'm dealing what? How about just get out of my sight? How about that? Credits: Funke Philips

14 Comments

  1. Grace Aigbokhae

    March 17, 2015 at 6:31 am

    That is how Africa Man thinks, if U don’t have a son it a problem, if U have 1 they will still complain that 1 is not enough. I just pray they should stop that kind of mentality. sometimes I wonder if the family are God that Gives Children.

  2. Chiamaka Emmanuella Onuoha

    March 17, 2015 at 6:39 am

    Lolz Aunty funke Good Morning, u should understand that Nigeria regard male child more than female ones.they value them because they are the ones to take over from their father but in my own view both male and female should be regard.they are gift from God.

  3. Victor Onuoha

    March 17, 2015 at 6:42 am

    my question is this,ls it the mother that determines the sex of a child?men that woman brought out what you gave her

  4. Shobande Keymon Yomi

    March 17, 2015 at 6:43 am

    We dem boiz can do it o. Giving birth to a girl always make us (man) go crazy and sad. If i got married, I’ll give birth to 3 children, 1 girl, 2 boys

  5. Winnie

    March 17, 2015 at 8:20 am

    When will everything stop been the woman’s fault?

  6. Louis Offor

    March 17, 2015 at 9:23 am

    Aunty Funke and her ventilations again? Well, if not one thing, i’d have just scurried along and ignore this post, but for the sake of that thing i won’t. And that very issue is with you Aunty Funke! You rant and vent too much to almost sickening levels. I know it’s not my mouth oh! But, i will still vent out my own ish on you and it has to do with the issue of you regarding or taking advice from anyone, i doubt you’re even the type that will sit down and listen to anybody’s advice whether it’s good or bad. Whether it’s from your pastor or his wife. Even if it is good, the truth is you may still not heed to the advice because you already have your mind made up on such issues. So, what difference does it make? And talk of calling you an angry feminist! Yes, of course that’s what you’re and even more. The way i see you, i believe you’re an feminist with very bad temperament. Yes…that’s you and no one can change it for you, not even yourself. After all i have said, i still like you sha…Eshamor! Good Morning…! 😎

    • Tyra bello

      March 17, 2015 at 3:17 pm

      She is a feminist? Are you kidding me? And those that disregarded female children as nothing are what? They called are kids nothing and you said she is ranting? She bore the pain for pregnancy, she was the one who had to scream and all during delivery. It was her bossom those kids fed from for months even when it hurt, she had sleepless nights because of this kids and even took care of the home and husband alongside and you said she is ranting? Ok, those words of yours aren’t it at all… Psst!

  7. Eunice Aigbokhae

    March 17, 2015 at 9:50 am

    Men stop blaming the woman 4 dat pls

  8. Ndubuisi Oscar

    March 17, 2015 at 10:44 am

    Please I want to ask ooo, is Funke the owner of this almighty blog? Because if she not the owner, I wonder why the chief Editor will be interested in her verbal utterances that suck and makes me sick to even comment on. #drinkscoldwatertocooloff

  9. Ese Oyobere

    March 17, 2015 at 11:54 am

    my dear, is only God that given male children, so rest ur case and believe in God.

  10. Tyra bello

    March 17, 2015 at 3:29 pm

    Don’t know why you decided to share a story as personal as this but i know you have your reasons.
    1, your husband and her sister sounded like uneducated fellow because one, its God that gives a child no man. Even coming down to science, his chromosome determines the gender of a child.

    2. Regarding female children as nothing hurts my feelings, am a female child and i won’t take that utterance from anyone.

    3. You probably went far, maybe too far with your anger thing. Have grown to learn that patience does it all, have been crucified many times for things i had no blame in all because i wasn’t patient enough and i was too quick to vent my anger. It sucks!

    4. Maybe you should have talked it over and over again about this baby gender thing and prolly gone for conselling to enlighten your husband. Who know, he could chill about it and if you had tried maybe the next would have been a male, who knows. Seen families with female children coming first before a male child.

    4. Divorce wasn’t the answer. Its marriage for crying out loud, i believe it wasn’t an arrangee wedding, you both found one another, loved and decided to marry. Nobody were involved in those. You guys prolly did court/church wedding and took the vows, you both should have tried harder because of the kids. Obviously, the two of you didn’t consider the kids when you acted. The children won’t be happy being from a broken home and we all know the stigma of children from broken families. What they face and all. This is indeed a very very sad one

  11. Sandra Chinasa Deborah

    March 21, 2015 at 11:32 am

    African mentality. Whose fault is it? Man or woman? Sum African men re just like akpos

  12. sley blakes

    April 4, 2015 at 1:39 pm

    I NEED RICH SUGAR MUMMY THAT CAN TAKE GOOD CARE OF ME….08039196081….ANY INTERESTED WOMAN SHOULD CALL ME

  13. Olanike

    April 5, 2016 at 12:37 pm

    Any man or family that disregard or do not appreciate female children is worthless, how can anyone complain about the sex of the children God has given to them.

    I have two lovely girls and am waiting for that day any of my husband’s family will lecture me about having a son! even if i want to have more children i still prefer girls…