In this generation, I know love is no longer the main prerequisite for getting married to someone. For instance most ladies
, not all, in Nigeria, West Africa, which is where I drew my conclusion from, are no longer interested in a man providing love, and not the proof of love. To these ones, love equals lots of money, traveling to Dubai or UK for shopping, showering of luxurious gifts like designer purses, Peruvian or Brazilian hair, cars, apartment in Lekki/Aja axis, and living a high maintenance life
. If you give all the listed items to some of these females, they will tell you they "love you" and will do forever. If money is not involved, then you better kiss love goodbye. Period!
I have also seen ladies, especially in this generation, stalking rich married men
, and don't mind being a second wife, (don't scream, it is permitted in some part of the world), or a side kick, just to have financial stability for the rest of their lives. These ones do not mind breaking happy homes or families just to have their own share of the man's wealth.
The other thing I asked myself was, why are these men always entangled in extra marital affairs. Especially African men, (I know some Caucasians do it as well, and some part of the world, but my focus is on African men). Why did you marry your wife when you knew you were not ready for a life time commitment? Why take an innocent woman through so much torture? Sleepless nights, fasting and prayer, all night vigil/prayer, etc. Why? Some of these wives even get killed by their husbands mistresses because they want to take the woman's place by fire by force! It is a deep cry for help!
Marriage is no longer sacred. People walk in and out of marriages like it is a common thing to do. Some would spend their life's savings to impress the society for a one day event, called wedding, and all that money gone to waste after few months, or years of being together, because of lust of the flesh, and lust of the eyes (not all cases for divorce but in this context of discussion). By the way, cheating on spouses is universal. This is not just a male issue, some married women do it too.
Single ladies, earn your own money and leave these married men alone! If your life is miserable because you don't have money, then get busy. "There is no substitution for hardwork!" It is either you work hard, and enjoy the benefits of it, or you don't, and start scheming or strategizing how to dethrone innocent women from their marital homes. Please stop it! Be dignified and let God bless your hustle. I know some women who are hard workers, and I applaud you all; I doff my hat for these ones. You are a great role models for the society.
Young ladies (and some older ones too), stop visiting "native doctors", "babalawo's", "herbalist", "juju men", or whatever they are named, to give you "black magic" to cause havoc in someone's home or to break beautiful homes because they live a comfortable life. Instead, use that energy to pray for your own spouse to come, and pray God blesses the work of his hands to give you the kind of life you desire.
Married men, stop entertaining strange women. Stop flirting with other women, young or older. One sexual intercourse may cause a lifetime disruption. Likewise married women. Always pray for your husbands and don't compare your one bedroom apartment happiness to your friends 10 bedroom luxurious home. Bigger is not always better. "Life is in phases and men are in sizes." If you pray hard enough and support your husband, you may end up owning an estate. One constant thing in life is "change". Therefore do not mock your small beginnings.
Be grateful for where you are, on your way to where you are going. Don't run in any race but your own race. Your outcome in life is solely based on your decisions. The decision to win in life, or loose in life is yours. Lastly, let God be the center of your life, and winning in life will become a reality.
© 2014 Debbie Kuks Words
Facebook: Debbie Kuks.