I should do a dating primer for men. I should also do one on how to chat women up. The truth is unless you have game, have joined bad gang or have a mentor or sister, you probably have no one to teach you.
I think women need a primer developed by men too. Let me begin. Please add your thoughts.
1. Never ever generalise and assume all women are the same. Study each woman individually to see what she likes and would relate to. For example, anyone who knows me knows I prefer chinchin to flowers and dislike motivational or spiritual messages.
2. Don't come on too strong. There is such a thing as Too Much Information. Remember the woman is a stranger (or may even be a Karishika). You should never reveal intimate details about yourself to strangers or propose love to strangers. It is not only irresponsible, it makes you appear desperate. If the woman believes you're slow, let her. Your life is too important to share with anyone anyhow. You should also believe in yourself. Women are really attracted to confidence (and beards 😊
3.Research places before you take a woman there or choose somewhere you've been to before. Always check that you can afford it and that it is as advertised. Don't use Web reviews to choose. Use personal experience. If you invite a lady out, choose the venue - it shows you can take a decision and makes the lady feel taken care of. Also, pay the bill unless you agreed to go Dutch. Never ever invite a lady out and sit back expecting her to pay, no matter how old you are and how old she is. If she invites you out, she can and should pay. Men need pampering too.
4. Avoid these questions always, "How was your night?" and "Have you eaten?. Also, if you can't have a conversation without asking, "Where are you from?" and "What do you do?", you need to develop your conversational skills. Before you talk to a lady, find out what she's interested in and just Google the topical issues of the day. Why can't you talk about music or politics or God? What is "Have you eaten?" *Hiss*
5. Make sure your date gets home safely. (Ideally you should pick up and drop off - could be a taxi). Wait for her to enter the gate before you speed off or call to ensure she arrived safely, if she took a taxi.
6. Never accuse a woman or ask why she's not picking your calls or responding to your messages. Playfully reengage a few times. If she still doesn't respond, leave her alone. It's not by force.
1. Never go on a date accompanied by a friend. It is disrespectful and insensitive. You were invited not your friend.
2. Never accept a drink from another guy while on a date. If you're in a club and another guy asks you to dance without getting permission from your date, say no.
3. Never order the most expensive item on the menu. Shows lack of home training. Also, never order takeaway. Don't you have food in your house?
4. Call guys and initiate topics too. Spend your phone credits.
5. Give qualitative and thoughtful gifts and you don't need a special occasion to do so. Be a giver.
6. Your man is not a mind reader. Tell him what you want (including how you prefer to be wooed or touched) but say it in the spirit of friendship. Tone matters. Sometimes, it helps to write what you cannot say.
7. Pay attention to your appearance. Everyone appreciates aesthetic beauty, even babies. (Unless you're both bohemian. Yeah)
If all of this is too much work my brothers and sisters, you are lazy and just looking for knacks.
What should we add to the primer? Drop your comments.