I have a problem.
It has to do with the dating dynamics in our culture
. This paradigm has made the men
lazy and the women entitled.
I'm all for embracing the positive attributes of western culture but it seems we are a lot confused. We are unsure which way we want to go.
So the men like
the idea of a woman who pays the bill but his African ego balks at such blasphemy. The modern African woman is independent and "can do bad all by herself" but the man is still stingy if her expects her to pick up part of the bill. So we women will claim miss independent but deep down we know we want to be spoilt silly. So the men are confused by all these mixed signals.
The men are too packaged. 300k job. 8m car. 2m rent in lekki. 100k spent on a weekend. 10k savings. PRI- OR-RI-TIES !! They want to be seen as the oga at the top. They don't take time to build character which would make for long lasting relationships. So it's a "fuck bitches, get money" mentality.
I will say to the men stop focusing on getting money that you forget to build other aspects of your character that would make you a responsible partner and good father. Don't come and complain all women see in you is your money when you're nothing but an empty shell without the $$$. You attract what you are , shallow women who have no value to add except a means to deteriorate your bank account.
Don't be so hung out on impressing a woman with how much money you can spend on a first date. Any woman who is comfortable with you spending 30k and upwards of 100k on every date without having anything of value to add is a red flag.
Focus on creating memorable experiences. Don't take the lazy way out with eating and drinking and clubbing as options for a date night.
Pretend you're tourists in your city for a day and go sightseeing. Take pictures. Eat local. Unexpected situations that arise from such scenarios give ample opportunity to judge character.
If you both like working out go on a gym date. Go salsa dancing. If you're adventurous go scuba diving in Takwa bay. Visit an art gallery. Have a beach picnic. Go to Afropolitan ticket is 1500 pp. You both like football,visit your favorite local and watch a match. Learn a skill together: martial arts, French, gardening, photography, swimming lessons, arts and crafts...I could go on but you get my drift...
Also date according to your level. Live your truth. Any girl you have to package for is not worth it. Be honest with your capabilities.
On the flip side, Even when you are more than capable keep it on the down low. Don't be so eager to flash your money in my face. Very childish.
Personally, Buying a 50k VSOP and spending up to 100k on a date does not impress me. I will just think you're a lazy non creative person.
I went on a date recently and asked for water because that was the 3rd time we were going out and it was still a come let's eat scenario. I was tired!! Yes I'm a foodie but Blow my mind with something imaginative. If we've been talking for a while let's practise Gordon Ramsey gourmet cooking in your kitchen or mine. Go for shopping together...
I don't know mehn...we need to gather ourselves together..