When I was in the university, back in the day between the mid 90's and late 90's, I used to attend the Singles and Married fellowship with the late Pastor (Mrs) Bimbo Odukoya, (of blessed memory). I learned a lot from Pastor Bim, and never forgot most of what she taught us.
I know I've shared this story before, but just felt like sharing to those who'd never heard it before. I recall a lady's testimony that shook me tremendously. This lady was so on fire for God and was in her late 30's. There was so much pressure from family, and even church members to get married.
She later on met a brother that approached her, and wanted to marry her, but she wasn't feeling this guy and didn't want anything to do with him. The guy went to meet other members of the church and I believe the pastor too, to help him talk to her. The pastor spoke to her, alongside friends, and other family & church members, that there's nothing wrong with the guy, and she shouldn't be too picky especially considering her age.
She prayed and still didn't feel like she should be with the guy but succumbed to the pressure, and agreed to date the guy. Few months later he proposed, and they got
married. The lady stated the moment they got married, the guy transformed to a Dracula; he stopped her from going to the same church he'd met her, and later on stopped friends and family members from visiting her. She felt isolated.
The lady narrated that all he wanted from her was sex, sex, and more sex, and wouldn't sit to converse with her or ask how she was doing. She stated each time they had sex, it was like a rape of her soul and she didn't know what to do. He would lock her up in the house, and would only open the door when he's home. She was terrified. Then she found out she was pregnant.
This man wouldn't allow her go to the hospital after she'd found out she was pregnant for her prenatal care. She wasn't eating well, because of her emotional state, and when she saw that she might die in the house without anyone knowing, she fought her way out of the house to the hospital. Immediately she checked in to the hospital, she was admitted. That was when she could call family members, friends, etc to come over. I believe she told the doctor never to discharge her until after having the baby.
On her due date, she gave birth to a set of twins. Immediately after the birth of her twins, she lost it psychologically. Her mom had to take the twins away, and she was sent to the psychiatric clinic. She was there until she was sane again. She couldn't even breastfeed her own kids. She was so distraught that she ran to late Pastor Bimbo Odukoya, because she didn't know what to do with her life
After her story was shared via an audio tape, I started shivering and tears welled up in the corner of my eyes. I couldn't just imagine anyone going through so much trauma; she went through a whirlwind just because she wanted to please everyone and shut down her own intuition or gut feeling. I believe everyone who heard her story couldn't even judge her, but learnt what NOT to do when pressure mounts: Never to succumb to any pressure. After all has been said and done, no one was there when her dilemma started, she was left to face it ALONE!
Are you pressured right now? Are you about to make the most devastating mistake of your life? Are you enduring a relationship and not acknowledging the big elephant in the room, just because you just want to be married? A broken relationship is better than a broken marriage
. So never ever be pressured to be with anyone your spirit doesn't feel you should be with.
As human beings, we have this intuition about people we feel we shouldn't be with. Most times, we push it away, just because we want to do the opposite. I admonish you to please pay close attention when you're in a relationship. Never sweep under the rug, a situation you're not comfortable with because that may end up being the GIANT demon you may never conquer if you were to marry that person.
Like Pastor Bimbo would say, a courtship should be your interview state when you ask questions, and question everything that doesn't sit well with you, not a time to be caught up having sex and blinded to the things you shouldn't be blinded to. Sex clouds your sense of reasoning in any relationship, so abstain from it.
Lastly, let God be your light, your guide, and your voice of reasoning when you're in doubt. He will reveal the spirit of the man to you if you genuinely want to know. Most times, we want to be lied to, and building a relationship on lies and pretense is dangerous for anyone. I sincerely pray you listen to your inner voice, and allow God through His Spirit, lead you into all truth.
© 2014 Debbie Kuks Words
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