A Relationship Killer

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A lady that knew she was HIV positive was goading a man into marriage-despite being aware of her HIV status for years! His saving grace was an instruction from the church that all intending couples should present very recent ‘blood test results’-before the church can wed them.

It shows how far some people can go to manipulate others into marriage…yet the very foundation that every relationship thrives on is honesty. Do you really expect the centre to hold once your deception is discovered? Some manipulation borders on sheer meanness…why would anybody knowingly jeopardise the health of another just to bear the Mrs. title? Who told you that one who is HIV positive can’t find love? You owe whoever that is intimately involved with you nothing but honesty…the choice to stay or leave-remains theirs. And for every person that rejects you because of your baggage…someone else (probably with a similar baggage) will be most at home with your issues.

Another area of deception that a lot of people are unrepentant on is age falsification…I can’t understand the obsession with ‘under aging’ one ‘self! I mean, does it claiming to be thirty five when you are actually in your forties? Shouldn’t you focus on carrying yourself well-whatever your age is? Anybody can find at any age. The moment you feel you should underage yourself to be accepted by any man/woman is when you should actually go your way. Let him/her go look for a ‘youngie.’ If you are patient enough…someone who actually prefers someone in your age bracket- will walk into your life.

Why should you deny your ‘relevant’ past to be accepted by anybody? I mean, it is nauseating that a lady who has been married before would deem it fit to hide this information from her fiancé. Some will claim that the child they had outside wedlock is their sibling. A man who was legally married (with kids) would claim that the mother of his kids just trapped him with pregnancy and that they were not even married. The (often unnecessary) lies are just unimaginable. If he/she does not want to be involved with someone with your kind of baggage…why should you deceive him/her into accepting you? Is it that you don’t know that for every person who cannot deal with your baggage…three others (at least) will have no qualms embracing you and your baggage?

A friend once put it thus, “People want to get what they want at all cost without a care about the other person. Truth is at some point, love is not enough once the thread of lies starts detangling. Once trust is in question, that relationship is no longer same, no matter how hard you try to fix it.’’

Learn to step back, give yourself a break and allow time sort things out for you. Running in circles makes people desperate. When you are desperate…you lie too because you begin to deploy manipulation to get what you want at all cost. But whatever you have to manipulate to get- isn’t yours to keep. It does backfire.

The desire of married persons is to experience more of happiness in their union but a that made deception its foundation will breed nothing but resentment. There is no way someone that feels tricked into a marriage (by you) will give you the best of him/her. Having a miserable marriage is too much a prize to pay for your deception…you might as well come clean and save yourself such future heartache. If it’s meant to be…it will surely be!


  1. Joy orji

    October 18, 2014 at 8:38 am


  2. Onyinye Jacinta

    October 18, 2014 at 9:19 am

    It’s the norm these days. Many people lie these days to gain their way. Too bad

  3. Louis Offor

    October 18, 2014 at 12:17 pm

    what an insight!