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Sister Funsho, how is the family? ‘’We bless God ma. She responded’’. You know what sister Funsho, I am really happy for you. You are from a born again background and you are married to a man who also loves God. That makes the marriage perfect! Unlike majority of us whose parents just practice Christianity as a religion and also married to a man who is a Christian. Thank God for the counseling from the married women forum that has been helping us to stand firm in Christ and also make sure our family is not left out.   Hallelujah sister Joy, it’s God that gives wisdom and he’s the great counselor. However, I appreciate your comments. Regards to your family. ‘’I will and yours too she responded’’. Marriage, only the wearer knows where the shoe pinches.  Today is our anniversary and I think I should surprise Dele by cooking his favorite. Yeah he left home on lighter mood this morning, may be his favorite could spice up things.  *Smiles*.  “It’s been a while you know and I have blood flowing through my vein”.  After all, the have gone to their granny’s place for mid –term so, we have our privacy to ourselves! These were my thought as I drove to the market to get my efo riro recipes. Even on a Thursday, the market is still this full. I hope my effort is appreciated.  “Baba please cut the cow foot into big sizes; I really don’t care about the number”. I still have one more recipe to buy; oh it’s my iru. Dele’s efo riro is never complete without locust beans. I now have my efo riro elemi meje recipes and really can’t wait to start cooking. The road was quite free that I got home in less than 20 minutes and I went straight to the kitchen. Firstly, I got my hand washed then, to washing of my recipes.  My well seasoned shaki (tribe), pomo (skin), beef and cow foot was ready to be boiled. On the other burner was my pot of palm oil with onions heating up, I added my iru and stirred. Oh it smells nice! I poured my rough blended pepper and allowed to fry for a while. Few minutes after, I added my orisirisi (varieties); pomo, shaki, cow foot, dried catfish, prawns, beef and dried panla. I carefully added my vegetable after few minutes then, salt to taste. After few minutes of steaming, I stirred my vegetable, hmmm tasted just the way Dele likes it. I suddenly remember the back street boys song – “I’d go anywhere for you/anywhere you asked me/I’d anything for you /anything you want me to” which I sang as I turned my poundo flour.  Just as planned I finished in 50 minutes. I rushed to the bathroom to have my bath, wore my sexy night wear, sprayed some perfume and my hair nicely combed. “I bet Dele won’t be able to resist me”. I sat on the couch with my legs crossed to watch my favorite telemundo while I await my husband. That particular telemundo has been my companion for a while so; I wouldn’t mind me watching to suppress my anxiety. Just as I watching, Dele entered, I was excited but wasn’t quick to show it. He knelt down with flowers in his hands and said “baby I’m so sorry for all the wrongs I have done to you, I’ve hurt you severally and don’t deserve you but, please forgive me. I love you and don’t want loose you’’.  Tears rolled out of my eyes like a day old baby. Of course he just called me that; “baby”.  I was speechless, oh my Dele … Suddenly, I heard someone pounding on my front door. I jumped out of the couch “oh it was a dream”. I slept off while watching my telemundo.  The door was still banging so, I rushed to the door.  That must be my husband I said to myself. As I opened the door, he pushed me away and walked in with a young lady. Welcome and how was your day at work. I softly said. How dare you lock the door!  Is it your father’s house? He harshly responded. ‘’I am sorry but I think it’s only right for me to lock the door at 11pm’’.  The young lady walked passed me without a glance at me. I was about to confront her when my husband yelled at me saying “who are you to decide when and not to lock my door”. He walked into ‘’our’’ bedroom with the lady and I quickly followed them. Ignoring the lady, Can I serve your food? I asked. It’s your favorite. He hissed at me and started a conversation with her. She was the fourth lady he would be bringing to our home. Why are you doing this to us? I asked. Today is our fifth wedding anniversary and its eight months you touched me though it was a rape. Its four years we sat to talk as a couple. You can leave if you want to after all; I never wanted to marry you if not for my brother who insisted. He responded. ‘’You told me you love me, you promised to care for me; your words are still fresh in my mind but, you have denied me of my rights as your wife. The only thing that gives me happiness was my job. You told me to resign and I did because you said that was the only condition that will make us happy together. Instead you gave me more problems. You no longer give me allowances; you now buy food stuffs yourself and don’t eat when I cook’’. Thank God for the little money I make from the shoes I sell for my sister who live abroad or how else would I have survived. I bursted into tears and left the room.  ‘’I no longer want you, leave my kids and go!’’ He said as he slammed the door behind me. How I wish I could leave. What do I tell people that believe in us that we are separated? I am one of the executives of the married women forum in church, a lead vocalist and the daughter of a deacon. My husband is the church musical director moreover, God hates divorce. I can’t stand the stigma! These were my thoughts as I sat alone on the couch in the living room in the cold of the night of my wedding anniversary with a stranger in my home. Should I rather live in pains and pretend all is well? (Note: Images used here are for illustration purposes and does reflect the present status of those who appear in it) Credit: Tope Taiwo


  1. Bright Meek Phronesis Odei

    May 4, 2017 at 11:59 am

    Difficult questions, very difficult questions. It’s well. I think she should still stay in the relationship and just be praying for the husband. God will surely intervene.

  2. Adex

    May 4, 2017 at 10:30 pm

    This is a hard one, very hard but I’d advice you stay put, it’s just the devil at work ,he is attacking marriages badly so just be prayerful, be very close to God but please don’t fail in your duties as a wife and give him space each time u feel he needs it so he doesn’t feel stalked. Trust God………God bless you